Wednesday, November 26, 2014

All I Want For Christmas 2014

'Tis the Season to be Jolly!!

Or something...

I'll admit that even though I KNOW the holidays aren't supposed to be about materialism, I still get a little Grinchy when I don't know what to get someone or where to get something good.  So here are my gift ideas and website recommendations for Christmas 2014.

Custom Jigsaw Puzzles  A great gift for the puzzle person in your family because chances are, they've never put together a puzzle created from their own family photo, pet photo or a picture from that last great vacation. will take your favorite photo and turn it into a custom jigsaw puzzle or use your own design image to create a quality, custom puzzle made to last. 

Puzzles range in size from 16" x 10" to huge floor puzzles.  Price varies according to size and number of pieces, but start as low as $27.99.  They also offer $5.00 Economy shipping within the continental United States as well as shipping to Canada and Australia.  Definitely worth looking into if you have a puzzle lover in the family.

The great part is that they are a small business, so you're supporting a small business owner by purchasing from them.  Plus, More Than Cheese and Beer readers can use code PPORDER06 for $2.00 off their order!

Birchbox  I have been a Birchbox member for over a year now and I am still in LOVE.  Every month I get a box full of goodies for $10.  You can read my reviews here.  They offer three options for gifting starting at $30.00 for 3 months.  Birchbox is also now shipping to Canada! think it is a great gift option for anyone who likes to experiment with products, a teenager who might be new to beauty products and wants to try new things, or anyone who might like a once a month pick-me-up.  This is what I'm getting MYSELF this year!  Purchase a Birchbox Gift Here.

Jamberry Nails  I will admit, I am a new Jamberry fan.  I'd first seen them a little over a year ago and was sent a sample from an incredibly nice Jamberry Consultant who sent me a few in the mail to try.  While I love the application and the patterns Jamberry was selling at the time, unfortunately the nail shields just didn't last for me.  Whether it was my job at the time or the application, I'm not sure but I wasn't thrilled enough to even consider ordering them because my manicure lasted one day.

Since then, however, Jamberry has apparently re-done the nail shields and I was graciously sent another sample by fellow blogger and Jamberry Consultant Anna-May Jeffries.  I can now see why everyone is so in love with them!  The Fall/Winter catalog is incredible and they are currently Buy 3, Get 1 Free!  So you could use them as stocking stuffers, or get a bunch for one person.

They also have the "Nail Art Studio" where you can create your Jamberry Nails with your images!  How cool is that?!?!
To Order: Jamberry by Anna-May  For Specials and Promos follow Anna-May on Facebook.

Penny Jules  I love Penny Jules!  Heather's designs are inspired, creative, super cute, and won't break the bank.  She has everything from Doctor Who inspired jewelry to Day of the Dead Skull earrings.  She even has Disney Princess inspired jewelry and hair combs, which I love because she incorporates wonderful little details and they're suitable for Princess fans of all ages.  

I'll be buying some things from Penny Jules for the people on my list for sure!

Mommy Needs Wine, Not Whine Mugs  She's hot.  She blogs.  She writes rude things on tea cups.  I've gotten so many wonderful things and given away so many wonderful things from this lady, I can't even begin to tell you!  She ships Priority Mail, the mugs are more than reasonably priced especially considering she hand-paints them all in her kitchen while drinking Sauvignon Blanc.

If you're looking for formal tea sets with "Whore", "Slut" or some other obscenity written on it... she's your girl!  She's also been known to crank out humping stick figure mugs and draw dicks on the bottom of coffee cups by request.
To get your own Mommy Needs Wine, Not Whine Gift check her out on Facebook.

Her latest stroke of genius?  This amazing Inigo Montoya mug.  I love it.  Get Your Mug On Here.

The Original BeautyBlender  I got one for myself, I wrote the review.  I stand behind the Original BeautyBlender as a great gift because I think gifts should be useful, or something someone might want but not necessarily want to spend the money for which makes the $20 BeautyBlender an awesome gift.  If you're not a Birchbox member, you can also find the BeautyBlender on Amazon for $16.99.

Ofra Universal Eyebrow Pencil. Birchbox says: No more wondering which pencil, powder, or mousse best matches your brows: Pick up this pencil from Ofra, and you’ve got the right shade. Its universally flattering tone works to define and fill brows of any color, and the water-resistant formula stays put all day.  They aren't joking... it really is universally flattering, it really does stay put all day and my brows look fantastic.  Using this pencil actually got me complimented on my eyebrows for the first time in my life.  This is probably one of the best products I've tried all year and I think everyone should have one.  EVERYONE.  Sharing is caring; Give the gift of good brows!  This can be purchase on Birchbox for $13 or you can buy it directly from Ofra.

Coastal Scents Revealed 2 Palette ($19.95 on Birchbox)  Another Birchbox find, this palette is one of my favorites.  It has a variety of earthy and awesome colors and I have yet to meet anyone who can't find at least one color they like in this palette.  You can find it on Birchbox or on

I am in love with Anti-Clothes t-shirts.  $5.00 a shirt and I've found at least six shirts I want to order for someone in my family (aka my brother), myself and a couple of my friends.  You can't beat the price and a $50 order gets free shipping.  I don't think I will have any problems spending $50 on this site. Need a gag gift?  Something involving bacon?  An ugly sweater?  Fake barf, poop or hairballs?  Something with zombies or unicorns?  Grumpy cat, Doctor Who, Star Wars or Superhero merchandise?  I know... you think I'm joking, but I'm not.  If is it stupid or just kinda weird you can find it at  There is no limit to the stupid awesomeness on this site whether it is a gag gift, a white elephant gift for the in-laws you hate, or just something a little can find it here.  I've ordered from them many times before and while the site is stupid, the customer service isn't.  Check out the Stupid here.

Julep It's good to be a Maven!  I've been a Julep Maven for a year and I love it because mavens get first access to new colors and products, and special discounts!  Boxes come with $40 of product for just $20/month. Definitely a good gift for a nail polish connoisseur, not to mention... their Mint Condition Pedi Creme is the best, their Glycolic Hand Scrub will keep your digits soft, and their Oxygen Treatment line has given me the best nails I've ever had (even getting complimented by nail technicians).  

You can give Maven Boxes for 2, 4 or 6 months or sign up to become a Maven yourself (be sure to use code FREEBOX to get your first box free!)

The Honest Company  Oh, Jessica Alba, you're doing something right!  Even though Target now carries some of The Honest Company's products, I'm still receiving bundles because I save money on the items I'm buying and using.  Read my Honest Company Review.  They have an awesome collection of Gifts like the Baby Arrival Gift set, the Mini Diaper Cakes, Bath Time Sets, and you can always give an Essential Gifts Bundle which contains a full month's supply of natural, non-toxic personal care & home cleaning essentials.  It would be an awesome gift for anyone interested in natural, non-toxic products!

Alibris: Books, Music, & Movies Alibris is one of my favorite book, music and movie sites EVER. They sell both new and used from retailers all over the United States. I have had many great experiences with them. I once used Alibris to find I book I was told would be $100+ because it was out of print. Not only did I get a SIGNED copy, but it was a copy the author had written notes in and gifted to a friend which made it even more special to the person I gave it to...the excitement and joy was priceless. He thought I paid a fortune, I really paid a little over $30.00. Definitely worth checking out for hard to find titles, signed titles, collector worthy books, or if you are just looking for quality, used alternatives to buying new books. (NSFW)  One of my favorite lingerie websites with items ranging from "Ooh" to "Ooh la la!" and some of the best prices and size options I've seen anywhere.  I've ordered from them in the past and been very happy.  If you're going to get your ho ho ho on, I hope you check them out. (NSFW)  Want to make it more XXX than sexy this Christmas?  This is the site.  The best selection of...ahem, "adult accessories" whether you are shopping for yourself, your significant other, or someone else.  Stuff for men, women, and couples, as well as gag gifts, costumes, books, and lotions & potions.  These are the best prices I've seen on and offline.  Shipping is fast, packaging and billing is discrete and you get a free gift with your order.  This is the site if you're looking to jingle your bells this holiday season!

Well, that's it.  That is everywhere I'm shopping this year, I think.  If you can't find a gift for someone on this list, maybe they don't deserve a gift from you. 

Sunday, November 23, 2014

Sunday Confessions: Always

This week's prompt:

I've always been creeped out by Shaq.

Yes, THAT Shaq. 

He creeps me the hell out. 

I can't explain it. 

Maybe it is because he is a giant. 

Maybe it is all the creepy sex faces he makes in the foot powder commercials. 

Maybe it was the way he wouldn't stop staring at me while making those creepy sex faces when they came out with "Soda Shaq" cream sodas and I wanted one so bad because I love cream soda but wouldn't drink it because...Shaq.

Maybe there is a deep, hidden Freudian thing going on here.  Ew.

Maybe it is the name Shaq.  I've know guys named Shaquille and they don't bother me. 

I don't know what it is, but I've always been creeped out by Shaq and I probably always will be. 

Friday, November 21, 2014

Friday Feats & Fails 11/21/2014

Ahh, Friday.  Or, POETS Day... as in "Piss On Everything Tomorrow's Saturday".  And that is exactly how I'm feeling.  Except I said I would work tomorrow. Whatever.  Overtime quiets the noise my bills make... or something.  On to the Feats & Fails of the week!

-  I sent all of my Thanksgiving cards out early, because I was convinced Thanksgiving was yesterday until late Monday afternoon.  Seriously.

-  I let a bunch of little things bother me this week.

-  My cat threw up on my bed.  But he didn't just yak on the bed, he yakked on the mattress protector too.  Ugh.  I'm so tired of doing laundry.

-  Last Friday night, I may have told my nephew that if he could only have two gummy vitamins a day because gummy vitamins were made for stupid kids who needed to think they were eating candy instead of vitamins and if he ate more than two he would end up shitting himself, throwing up and needing at IV to rehydrate him after he shit himself and threw up everywhere.  I told him he would shit himself like 4 times.  That's probably a huge Auntie fail, but he laughed and listened so that counts for something...right?

- Weird trip to Walgreens on Thursday.  I went to the one towards the more...let's say economically diverse side of town.  I ended up seeing a guy who I thought was an old friend; The last time I saw him he was struggling with addiction.  He moved away and seemed to be doing better, though I'd heard stories he'd slipped.  I stalk him on Facebook and he seemed to be doing better.  Unfortunately, if he is in town I can't imagine it would be for anything good and I hope like hell it wasn't him.  Then while I was there, I saw a guy that looked like someone I used to know...I almost went up and asked him how he was until I remember that guy died a few years back.  It was just a weird, weird trip to Walgreens.

+  I'm still loving my new job and we got a Keurig.  My boss seems happy with me so far.

+  I got to spend time with my nephew.  He's awesome.  On Friday, I bought him a shirt with a skull wearing a Santa hat. 

+  I told my nephew eating too many gummy vitamins would make him sick and he would shit himself... HOWEVER, he isn't begging for gummy vitamins all day, so I guess that is an Auntie WIN. 

+  I got new socks.  There are very few things I enjoy in the World quite the way I enjoy new socks.

+  Mexican and margaritas Saturday night with a friend.  Delicious!

+  This might be what I like to call a "Happy Little Shitty Thing", but I got some gossip from my old job.  The boss' "pet", who was incredibly socially awkward and known for causing drama on multiple occasions, left the company.  Apparently, she went around and left letters on everyone's desks, no notice, and didn't go back.  She had been "training" a backup for months, and the backup isn't ready to take over (they weren't really training).  It wasn't my job to cover for her, yet because the position of her backup had been so hard to fill for nearly two years I had been doing the job on the rare occasions when she took time off.  I'm no longer there.  The only other person who could cover for her was on vacation this past week.  I'm kind of glad she did it... I hope it shows the people in charge that you can't give someone a very important position and treat them like they don't matter.  Not giving people benefits, raises, and days off isn't a way to keep good people who are trained and knowledgeable.  Maybe I shouldn't be so gleeful, but... part of me feels very vindicated because I knew I was important there and now my boss knows too.

That's it.  That is all I've got. 

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Sunday Confessions: Quick

This week's prompt:

I'm not very quick.  I'm not in a hurry to get things done.  Maybe I should be.  Maybe I should spend more time rushing, pushing, hurrying.  

But somehow I just think that going my pace is the right way to be.  Even if it isn't quick. 

Friday, November 14, 2014

Friday Feats & Fails 11/14/2014

I know we missed Feats & Fails last week with everything I had going on... and we're running late this week.  Maybe we should make it something we post in the evening?  To purge all that Friday Work Day stuff and free our minds for the weekend?  Let me know what you think in the comments.

-  I made a big boo-boo and did the thing I always tell people not to do to me and I surprised someone with my presence.  Which is fine, except it seriously messed some things up and I feel bad about it. 

-  I didn't get my house cleaned so I could have a fresh new start at home when I started my new job.  Sucky pants.

-  It was a week full of my exes.  Literally.
 I saw The Boyfriend That Was twice this week and he showed up on my newsfeed in a promotion for a local radio station (I have him blocked)... which sucked because I don't even want to see a picture of him. 
I got hate mail from another ex.  I call him The White Demon. Yes... HATE MAIL, with a stamp and everything.  The thing is... he probably doesn't even realize how hateful his message was because it was a mix between insulting me and sexually harassing me.  I'm sure he thinks his sexual harassment is uber-charming or something.  Asshat.
Last but not least, the ex who just won't go away kept messaging me.  His greeting?  "Boobies".  Wish I was kidding.  But yes, my ex sends me a single word message when he wants to talk, and it is "Boobies".  Gawd.  I just quit answering.  Ain't nobody got time fo' dat, fool!

-  Being a cat lady is hard sometimes.  There was some kitty sickness this week and it was not awesome.

-  I still haven't gotten my sister's birthday present.  Shh, don't tell her.

+  I had an AWESOME first week at my new job.  My new boss is awesome.  His wife is awesome.  My coworkers... I don't know about awesome, but they don't bother me so there's that. I seem to be catching on quick.  My boss said he is very happy and thinks I will do well.  I'm really, really excited and thrilled.

+  Last week, I was really nervous about sitting down, facing rejection, owning up to my behaviors and holding someone accountable for theirs.  Long story short... Bonehead and I had a fight.  BUT... it is in the FEAT section because while I was terrified to face rejection, I still showed up.  And you know what?  While I may have messed some things up, I'm ok that I did because I needed to straighten things out between us.

+  About that fight... we wouldn't have made up if it wasn't for a good friend who helped me through it and stayed on my ass about not chickening out.  Sometimes, you just need someone who knows you to be like, "Hey, trying is the best thing for you".  And I'm so thankful for that.

+  Mom's birthday went well.  I got a cake.  I made a lasagna.  It was a huge lasagna.  And when I say huge I mean I suspect it weighed in at 30 pounds.  So I did a little TOO well, but everyone liked it and I'm proud of myself so I guess that is really all that matters.  And dessert was incredible...see below.

+  It snowed.  Which SUCKED.  But it didn't stick on the sidewalk.  So that is a positive. 

+  I didn't shit myself at the Post Office today.  Thank god for small favors.

+  I got my first Ipsy box.  Review coming shortly.

+  I got my Thanksgiving cards out.  Fucking Yay Me!!

I think that is everything.  Overall, very tiring but super awesome week.  Thanks for reading. 

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Sunday Confessions: Able

This week's prompt:

I haven't been able to do a lot of things.  At least I haven't felt like it in a long time.  I haven't been able to do the things I need to do.  I haven't been able to be the person I want to be or the person others need me to be.  I haven't been able to keep up, get it right, get it done.  That's a really rough way to feel about things.  

I've been dealing with my depression.  I've been dealing with the healing that comes with feeling like you've been on the losing end for a long time.  Yesterday, I did something I didn't think I was going to be able to do.  I faced something head on.  It took me two weeks, three instances of chickening out and countless conversations with an encouraging, patient and amazing friend to do it, but I walked in and had a conversation with someone I was afraid to have.  

Maybe that sounds like a little thing to be able to do, but it felt huge to me.  Somewhere along the line, I lost the ability to just do certain things.  Looking back at myself, I often say.... "Man, I used to be able to..." or "I used to do that/get that done/not have a problem with that".  

And I have to wonder, when did I stop being able?  When did I stop just doing all of these things? 

I start a new job tomorrow.  Sometimes I am in awe of people who have been with companies for twenty or thirty or forty years and it is for a lot of reasons, but one of the biggest is because I think walking into a new job is a reminder and an opportunity to show what you are capable of, what you can do, what you can be.  I'm excited to walk in to a new opportunity to show how I am able to contribute.

Between yesterday and tomorrow, I'm feeling incredible able today.  All I can do is grab that momentum and hope it stays with me and maybe if I just keep going, keep trying to be able... I'll be able to do and be the things I haven't been able to in awhile. 

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Sunday Confession: Solid

This week's prompt:

As a general rule, I don't see things in black and white. 

It is both a blessing and a curse.  It allows me to accept people with scars, people who have made mistakes, people who known and done some terrible and ugly things.  It has given me some of the best moments of my entire life from the worst people.  

It has shown me that all that glitters is not gold.  It has taught me that monsters do in fact walk in the daylight.  It has shown me that sometimes nothing is what it should be. 

While this makes me the type of person who can see everyone as an individual and judge them on an individual basis, I think it makes ME questionable for all of the things I'm not "against" as a general rule because I can usually see a situation where it is acceptable.  

Sometimes I wish I could be more like the kind of person who decided their position on something and stays it, no matter what.  There are very few things I can make a solid, hard statement about because I can't find a way where it would ever be acceptable.  I feel like this makes people see me as more fluid and not a solid person when it comes to things I do disagree about.  Maybe people see me as wishy-washy and less of the kind of person with a solid, reliable opinion and belief system that I hold myself accountable to.

Maybe that is why I have such a lack of solidity in my life.  Because I don't play by the same rigid and required rules.