Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Insomnia Thoughts: Beauty Tips/Trends to AVOID



It's 5 a.m.  Unfortunately, after taking a much needed and incredibly long nap after getting home from work I am unable to sleep.  I did all of the usual things like laying in bed playing hours of games, reading advice columns online, even tried having a conversation with the cat.  I finally gave up and got out of bed.  And here I am.  I decided to clean and reorganize the freezer and that didn't go over so well.  So I decided to do some work on my corner of the bathroom and actually made some progress.  But then I decided I wanted to whiten my teeth and it was all downhill from there.  And here I am, bringing you all the things people and the internet will tell you to do, or things that might sound like a really good idea and aren't!

Teeth Whitening!  As we speak, I'm using a white strip.  I really and truly hate these things.  For starters, I am using the name brand ones that are really old.  Do these things have an expiration date?  I don't know.  Anyway.  I'm using the original white strips, the ones that don't stick so well so I put them on and put on my retainer over it.  Somewhere there is an orthodontist fuming with a "Why you shouldn't..." speech.  I'm not recommending it.  What I'm trying to warn you about is wearing these things too long.  I have sensitive teeth, and I think a really big part of it is because I'm kind of stupid.  I once put a white strip in my retainer, and then had this genius idea that I could just fall asleep and wake up with incredibly white teeth because it would be on for longer and it would work out and be wonderful.  All I have to say about that is NO!  I woke up with teeth so sore that merely breathing on them left me wincing in pain.  Luckily, when my dentist quit laughing (and he did a little bit) they offered me something to help with the pain.  I decided I deserved to suffer for my stupidity and tonight is the first time since that unfortunate accident that I've use the strips.  If I had to recommend anything, stick to good oral hygiene and whitening toothpaste unless you really need something else and then follow the directions to the letter.

Color contacts are something you purchase.  You cannot DIY your own colored contacts. I've never done this, but I've seen the after effects...bright green eye slime and bloodshot eyes.  Just don't do it.  Always wear and clean your contacts as directed.  And in the event that one falls out in public and you don't have solution...DON'T SPIT ON IT!

About your hair... over the years, I've put a lot of crap in my hair and learned a few things.  Red is the color that fades the fastest.  When using any kind of coloring or dye, if it is isn't permanent it will more than like run, even if it says it wont.  If you're blond, don't use shampoo for Brunettes or Redheads, there are color deposits in those and you'll wind up muddy or pink.  Here's the list of popular DIY no-nos: Bananas-I don't care what any professional, beauty blogger or magazine writer says, I had to wash 3 times then pick banana chunks out of my hair, clean my brush, and repeat; baby oil-no...it's not like a hot oil treatment and it doesn't rinse right out; Beer-waste of alcohol, my hair always looks the same as it did getting in...just drink the beer; eggs-gross!; mayo-even grosser and doesn't wash out so well; and vinegar-sure it has some benefits for your hair, but you'll smell like a pickle for days.

Toothpaste on zits. It will dry up a pimple, but it will also turn it red and cause peeling.

Smearing glue on your face and peeling it is not the same as using a blackhead strip.

Don't just think you can buy essential oils and dump them in your tub.  Do some research about how to use them, or you'll end up sitting in a bathtub wondering why everything from the chest down feels like a sunburn covered in vapor rub.

Hot wax is not your friend.  If you have somehow managed to develop some talent for waxing your eyebrows and mustache then more power to you.  But do not, under an circumstances, attempt a bikini wax at home.  If you need a reason, google wax joke.  There is only one, and we all find it funny because many of us have done it.


*I waited 5 days to post this and decided it would be useful.  I'll update as I find more Beauty Tips to Avoid*

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