Friday, November 8, 2013

Five Minute Friday: Truth

It's that time again. Really and truly I've grown to love me some Five Minute Friday. And in honor of today's word, Truth, I'm going to admit that sometimes finding topics to blog about can be hard, and the 5 minute assignment can get things going and I take more than five minutes. Also, I'm struggling with this one today.

Truth. What comes up with the word Truth today. About five minutes ago (ironic, I know) I had the most annoying Facebook "conversation" with someone. I wish I could get a screen shot but, I deleted him. It kind of went something like this....

Dillhole: Ugh. I'm so sick and tired of fake people. (There was more but I can't remember it)

Me: Hahahahahahahaha......oh the irony. (Because I happen to know this guy tells more lies about who is he is than he tells the truth and we all got proof of this a few years back. We all believed for years that he was an ROTC program, and joined the Army before he was even finished with High School. I vaguely remember him telling us he would be leaving and girls would cry and hug him. I ran into him again in my earlier 20's with some friends. He was staying in a hotel on the northside of my small town. He claimed he was in town on some Army business and they were paying for him to stay there, blah, blah, blah. That was about 5-6 years ago. Three years ago...he was facing federal charges in what they called a "Stolen Valor" case because he showed up for the biggest parade our town has wearing unauthorized Military Medals, including a major rank insignia and combat infantryman and parachutist badges....and the real kicker? The newspaper reported that he had NEVER even served.)
Dillhole: No. I'm just sick and tired of being being fake. Be real or fuck off.

Me: Oh. Mylanta.

And with that...I chose to Fuck Off and delete him.

The Truth is that right now I'm redefining myself. I'm trying to find my Truth again. The other day a very good friend told me, "Keep speaking the truth from your heart and those who truly know you either won't mind or they'll have your back for eternity."   Sometimes, I think I love that the very least, I owe him a motorboat just for being someone so awesome and lovingly kicking me in the ass when I forget how strong I am.

When I was a teenager, I decided that I wanted to live the truth.  I'd realized that I'd gotten pretty good at lying...and I was ashamed of it.  At the time, I was hanging out with what can best be described as at-risk teens and I came to realize that while I was struggling with hormones, and normal teen problems while dealing with the sudden and unexpected death of my father...I wasn't dealing with half of the issues the people that surrounded me were dealing with.  I didn't have any reason to be acting the way they were acting.  Even then, I knew I didn't want to be like them.  

I've known many people who get by in this life by lying, taking advantage, abusing the goodwill of others and I never wanted to be that kind of what did it say about me that I was so good at lying?  Nothing I wanted to be said about me.  

I chose to live a life of Truth.  I strive to know, speak and walk my own truth.  I strive to be the most honest person I can be.  When I was growing up, one of the big lessons about lying was that when you lie you have to fight to keep the lie going, and you always have to remember who you told what lie to.  I happen to think that while there is an incredibly true, though simple, point is much harder to live honestly, to put your truth out there instead of a lie to be heard and judged by others because if someone doesn't like it, the rejection is of who you actually are versus who you told someone you are. 

I've spent 3 years lying to myself.  I'm rediscovering me, and what I want my truth to be now.  Who I'm truly meant to be.  

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