Wednesday, April 23, 2014

What If Wednesday: What if my life was a Fairy Tale?

Today's Topic: What life was a Fairy Tale?

Only 5-10 minutes of writing....GO!

"I am not a pretty girl
that is not what I do
I ain't no damsel in distress
and I don't need to be rescued
so put me down punk
maybe you'd prefer a maiden fair
isn't there a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere" - Ani DiFranco

I've never prided myself on being a pretty girl.  I don't recall every being a "Princess" when I was a little girl.  I don't remember my parents ever calling me one.  When I was a kid, everyone loved the Disney Princesses and wanted to play with the dolls but there wasn't all of the dress up and "be a princess" attitude that there is now.  But...maybe there was and I just wasn't into it.

But what if my life was a Fairy Tale?

I might like to be the Princess who gets to sleep until her Prince Charming comes to rescue her.  Maybe then I would get enough rest to live happily ever after and not end up an exhausted Queen once Prince Charming and I start making royal crotch droppings.

I could live under the sea.  Life as a Mermaid Princess doesn't sound so unfair...pretty sure I wouldn't have a period, would never have to wear pants, can lure men to their deaths with my voice (because I'd be able to sing) and I'd get a clam bra.  Because who doesn't want a clam bra?

I could live a life with almost perfect hair.  I could wear pretty dresses to fancy dinners.  I wouldn't complain about having a household staff to clean the 50+ rooms of my castle and make my bed.  I might actually get a pony, or maybe have a pet tiger.  Maybe Prince Charming would show up and rescue me from whatever plight I found myself in and we would get married and life Happily Ever After.

Probably won't happen.  I'm really not the rescuing type.  Turns out, I'm the kind of Princess who spends a little too much time kissing frogs hoping for a Prince.  And I wouldn't know how to let a Prince rescue me anyway because somewhere deep inside of me, I enjoy killing my own spiders.  Maybe I would change my mind if a dragon were involved.  But until then...I'm just going to have to keep buying myself sparkly shoes and not wait for a man to show up and see if the one he found somewhere is a perfect fit for my foot.

"and what if there are no damsels in distress
what if I knew that and I called your bluff?
don't you think every kitten figures out how to get down
whether or not you ever show up?" - Ani DiFranco

**Fun Fact...I've actually been to the Chateau Du Chambord pictured above**

1 comment:

  1. Would it change your mind if I told you that I am engaged, and I am still in charge of killing the spiders? True story. He's totally scared of spiders. I've even seen him stand on a chair once because there was a spider on the ground. Naturally, I saved the day. If he ever knew I shared that on the internet, he'd actually die of embarrassment.