Sunday, May 4, 2014

Sunday Confessions: Cultivate

Today's prompt is:

I'm so happy to see the month of May. 

It was sunny yesterday and it was a beautiful break from the gray skies and April showers.  Not that I mind April showers much, but I wish there had been thunder.  Something about the rumbling and the cloudy turmoil soothes my spirit;  Many times, the memories of my father and later in my life, Bonehead, and our love of and connection to the storms is what calms me.  

The rolling and tumbling clouds bring abundant showers that wash away the last of the winter, the grit and dirt stirred up by snowblowers and snowplows.  Everything is washed away in one cold hard rain after another until that first warm shower of the year that seems to be bathing the earth, cleansing it for a new beginning.  As the earth around me starts to prepare itself, I find myself preparing also. 

It has been too long since I gardened.  Too long since I took my hands to the dirt, picking out the twigs and small stones so that I may plant something and watch it grow, weeding and tending to it.  Some say life is like a garden, and maybe that is why I haven't been out there much in the past few years.  But I hear the thunder, and I think it is time to prepare. 

The last time I chose to grow something, it didn't go so well and perhaps it was my fault.  Perhaps it is my fault for choosing the wrong type of plant, or putting it in the wrong place.  Perhaps it was just destined not to go well.  But what did happen is I ended up with something not so wonderful.  The dirt was poor, the plant grew up unhealthy, reaching for the sun until the sun found it's way to the reaching leaves and then drooping, soaking up the water I gave it and constantly looking for more. 

It is possible to over weed?  Perhaps I groomed it to much and it resented me with every little not-so-green leaf.  Perhaps I had such high hopes for it's growth that it just never really fruited because of the pressure.  Maybe the water it seemed to crave so badly wasn't what it needed.  Perhaps it was just a crappy plant. 

But I'm ready to try again.  Only this time, I want to do it right in a way I never wanted to before.  I'm ready to dance in the warm, cleansing rain.  I want to touch the earth.  I'm ready to dig.  I'm ready to get a little dirt under my fingernails.  I'm ready to grow something strong and beautiful.  I want beautiful healthy leaves, and a strong stem.  I want it to be fruitful. 

Perhaps today will be sunny like yesterday and I'll get to see the sunrise.  And maybe, if I put in my best effort to cultivate something wonderful...something wonderful might grow. 


  1. Beautifully written! This was wonderful :). I know nothing about gardening, but my mom has always kept a garden. My favorite thing was the strawberry plants. Nothing tasted better than those strawberries...and the homemade strawberry ice cream she made with them. Now I'm hungry again. Crap!

  2. Believing and having faith in things to grow is beautiful.

    Huzzah for trying again!

    That's often the hardest part-choosing to step past our fears and failures and moving on, hopefully towards happiness.