Sunday, May 25, 2014

Sunday Confessions: Friendship

Welcome to another Sunday Confessions!

This week's topic: Friendship

I've been thinking a lot about friendships lately.  What it means to be a friend, to have a friend and the type of people I have in my life. 

The truth about my friends is this... I have no idea why they hang out with me. 


My social anxiety and my need to recover after busy social interactions grows stronger all the time lately it seems.  It can be a pain in the ass just to get me to come around, not to mention the fact that I'm a total flake.  And they just keep trying...because I'm that awesome or because they get some kind of kick out of getting the ever elusive Hot Ash to leave her house I'm not sure, but I'm grateful. 

I don't tell them that enough. 

I once read an interesting idea about housecleaning and getting rid of things... if you don't love it, it isn't beautiful and it doesn't serve a purpose then you should get rid of it, otherwise it projects negativity and makes you unhappy.

I think I'm going to start applying that idea to people.  I think I spend so much time being surrounded by people who exhaust me, who project negativity, who don't really view me as a friend so much as someone of use to them. 

The truth is that I have met some of the most beautiful people in the darkest, scariest places and I have known monsters who live in the daylight. 

That being said, it's past time I clean house.  I have too many monsters in my house.  It's time I clean out the leeches who feed off of my time and energy.  It's time I shone a little sunshine on the fog that's found it's way into my life, preventing me from seeing things as they really are.  It's time I cleaned up the cobwebs from the old spiders who left them behind long ago.  It's time I cleaned the skeletons out of the closet.  It's time I clean out the joy vampires.  

If there is anything I've learned about friendship, it is that losing one can be just as painful if not more so than a terrible breakup.  If there is anything I learned from my last terrible breakup, it's that sometimes the things we hold on to and fight the hardest for are the things keeping us from having, doing and being all the things we want the most in this life.  

And it's past time I give the people who I love, who are beautiful, and who give me purpose priority over the monsters... because they deserve to be held close, and the rest...well, aren't really my friends in the end.

1 comment:

  1. Great post. Your friends enjoy hanging out with you because you're awesome and you make their lives so much better and beautiful because you are in it.

    Great choice to shut down the negative and only let in the positive people, it's a choice a lot of us need to make.