Sunday, July 20, 2014

Without

This week's topic: 
WITHOUT

I hurt someone I love very much recently.  I spoke without restraint.  I spoke with anger, suspicion and hurt, but most importantly I spoke without love.  As a result, I am without right now.

I am not so foolish to think that I am truly without them. Ours is not a relationship based or reliant upon physical presence, and being 'without' isn't necessarily a new thing as others might understand it. As such, I believe that I am loved in such a way that I am never truly without them in heart, mind and spirit.  I know that as I write this, even at this late hour, I'm being loved and thought of (even if only in anger).  Nonetheless, I am bereft of the comfort that knowledge usually brings me.

I am without words.  Unfortunately, I am entirely devoid of ideas, intuitive notions, or the knowledge as to how to soothe the hurt I caused and remedy the situation; a simple apology feels inadequate.

It appears after all this time, after everything, I struggle with living a life without fear and suspicion caused by the pain of the past.

It's time I learn to move forward without my baggage.

It appears that I am still learning and growing, I just hope that perhaps I can do so without hurting too many more people.


3 comments:

  1. It's really hard to leave baggage behind. Sometimes it's easier to repack in a way that makes sense - so we have an awareness of what happened without the need to relive it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Beautiful post.

    Let's hope we can all learn and grow.

    ReplyDelete