Friday, September 12, 2014

Friday Feats & Fails

Welcome to another Friday Feats and Fails!  Our Featured Blogger this week is the totally awesome sauce Mommy Needs A Swear Jar.  So in true Swear Jar style, I'm going to add up my quarters at the end of this post and donate them!  But let's go back to talking about why I read Mommy Needs A Swear Jar...

Mommy Needs A Swear Jar is a Midwestern mommy who worked hard to get educated before retiring to stay at home to be her kids' bitch (that one is free of charge because SHE said it, not me!).   The woman has five kids and the hilarity seems to practically write itself.  I'm not so far past my childhood that Why Frozen is causing my daughters to throw down in fisticuffs doesn't make me giggle at the fact my sister and I used to do the same kind of thing to my mom while also making me think of all of the fights I've had to end about this exact same thing.

Someday, I might be a Mommy who needs a swear jar.  But until then I'll keep reading posts like My Fat Ass and laughing MY fat ass ($0.25) off because anyone who has ever taken a gym class will get it, well...maybe not the part about smacking an instructor in the face.  She is open about the occasionally ridiculous reality of being a parent, down-to-Earth and utterly hilarious .

I highly recommend her, especially if you like your blogs sprinkled with F-Bombs like I do.  You can find Mommy Needs A Swear Jar on her blog, her Facebook Page or hit her up on Twitter.  I hope you will because she is totally awesome!

On to the Feats & Fails of this week!!

-  I made Bonehead listen to me be a baby and unload about things that are stressing me out.  I know I'm supposed to be able to do that, but I always feel bad.  So... boo to the fact that I needed to, that I did it AND that I feel bad about needing his support sometimes.

-  I forgot my Fitbit at my mom's house for two day.  OK, fine, I took off my bra it was clipped to and left it there for two whole days before going to get it and leaving a note that said, "I came, I saw, I took back my bra! <3, Ash"  So, that was fun.

-  I didn't do anything legitimately productive around the house in the last week.  Yes, again.

-  I went to the doctor, like I said I would in response to my Sunday Confession about Hope.  It went well.  What didn't go well was going to the pharmacy to find that 3 months of the prescription medicine my doctor prescribed was going to cost just under $400 because my insurance only gives me a discount, apparently.  All I can say is FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK ($0.25).  I should have just called and gotten something else, but what was prescribed it also good for chronic pain and I really need help with that.  I got a little less than what she prescribed but it still cost me more than two months of insurance.  It's complete and utter bullshit ($0.25) and I refuse to see it any other way.

-  I've been asking for overtime for months.  My boss finally asks people to work overtime when I'm A. eye-balling another job and B. when it has reached a level where assistance is so necessary that she's threatening mandatory overtime (and now I might have to do MORE overtime instead of enjoying my weekend because Bosszilla just couldn't accept the help I've been offering for months).

-  I was VERY excited to try a new Crockpot Recipe for Pumpkin Steel Cut Oats because it was supposed to be 150ish calories per serving and it looked delicious.

The smell of food woke me up at 3:30 in the morning which sucked ass ($0.25) but I stayed in bed as long as I could.  What I found when I got up was Pumpkin Cinnamon Apple Slop.  It looked watery, then started to thicken and I thought it was going to be ok.  Then I realized it had stuck to the sides of the crockpot even though I sprayed it with non-stick spray.  When I finally tasted it... it was a little sour, but mostly tasted like cinnamon pumpkin apple sadness.  I ended up adding sugar which kind of defeated the low calories, low sugar aspect of it.

I'm forgetting to mention, there was a half cup of dates in there.  Dates are expensive.  Dates are a sticky pain in the ass ($0.25) to chop.  The time and money wasted is more than I can bear.

This isn't a great picture either, but.... what you're looking at is 7 cups of slop.  I ate the 8th cup for breakfast.  I refuse to waste it, because...dates.

+  Time with my sister and nephew, which I love.

+  Dinner and a movie Saturday night with my mom.  It was a really good time, so that is awesome.

+  I'm up on steps on my Fitbit.  I'm not hitting 10,000 yet, but I doubled my steps in general.  I also somehow managed to stay under my Weekly Calorie Allowance on My Fitness Pal.  According to my Doctor I've lost two pounds since May.  They don't realize it is actually more like 14 pounds because it went up first, but whatever.

+  Speaking of losing weight, the new medicine my doctor put me on is totally killing my appetite which is making staying under my calories so much easier.

+  While I'm NOT happy about the possible mandatory overtime taking over my weekend, I AM happy that I did get some overtime hours in this week.

+  I might be turning into an adult.  I've gone to bed at a decent hour all week.

+  It feels like Fall outside... sooner than I expected, but I like it.

+ I've been writing a lot lately, which is awesome.

+  I have an announcement this Sunday.  So tune in!

That's everything.  That's my week.  

Total In the Swear Jar:  $1.25

How was your week?  


  1. That's quite a list - too bad about the pumpkin slop but the good news is the interests will be filled with pumpkin recipes for the next month or so...

  2. I think you're blog is great that's no secret as you see me hear each week. What I appreciate most is your loving nature, kindness, and that you have an amazing relationship with your family. Thanks for being your awesome self Ash. Cheers to you on all your accomplishments in your week. 😃💓

  3. I loved your Feats and Fails. I'm sorry I'm just now getting around to fully reading them. I actually giggled about the pumpkin oatmeal story because I've tried to cook stuff over night (mostly for my son's marching band competitions the next day) and the smell of chicken fajitas woke me up and kept me salivating until my alarm went off. As for the Fitbit, I am very active with my kids all day and then I usually walk or run on the treadmill for an hour to hit that 10k steps. It's almost an unrealistic goal. So fuck that thing. Fuck it right in the face. Um, what is this magical medicine your doctor put you on? I would give both tits to not want to eat twenty-four-seven. xoxo