Friday, October 10, 2014

Friday Feats & Fails 10/10/2014

Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend

Finally, Friday!  It actually wasn't that long of a week, but that might be because my weekend is starting early.  But I'm ready.  Really. 


-  I deactivated my Facebook account this week, which only lasted a day because I realized that because I had done it out of the blue and I didn't want people to worry.  But clearly I've let things get to a point where I need to actually step away from social media because the drama isn't something I need in my life, it has become a huge distraction for me, and I need to do more ACTUAL interacting with people I care about.

-  I had to work overtime.

-  Some friends have been facing some personal losses and struggles, and while that isn't a fail for me... I feel for them so hard and wish I could make things better for them. 

-  I didn't get anything done around the house except laundry.  Like, I avoided my house this weekend way more than I should have. 

+  That fight I had with Bonehead last week?  Well, sometimes fighting with Bonehead is exactly what needs to happen in my life.  I know that sounds loony, but wait... I can explain.  Fighting with Bonehead isn't like fighting with other people.  When I get mad at Bonehead and then we argue, I get SO much madder than I do at anyone else.  I think a huge part of that is the fact that I rarely ever get actually mad or angry with him, so when I do it is seriously ROUGH.  And while we get frustrated with each other and downright stubborn, selfish and inconsiderate... for the most part, we still stay respectful of each other and that is important. 

The wonderful thing about Bonehead is when we have a problem... one of us always comes back around and says, "So WHY do you feel that way?" or "Why did you react so strongly to that?"  And it isn't said with aggression, and it isn't instigating another fight because it isn't about walking away and coming back to reiterate your points again (like more people do).  It stops being about opinions and makes it about feelings, and feelings don't always make sense.  Questions like that make all of the difference in the world sometimes because sometimes being asked to explain your feelings and reactions not only helps the other person to understand you, but also causes you to explore your feelings deeper and sometimes shows you where personal issues and baggage might be impacting your relationships with other people.  

This time, it was me.  It was totally me.  I have social anxiety, which got worse during my relationship with my ex...  much worse.  I didn't realize it, and couldn't really explain it.  Unfortunately, to Bonehead I seem like a fully functional adult who answers the phone for a living and appears to only have a moderate dislike for people until a situation arose and I acted like an ass.  Being forced to explain that my Introvert nature has taken a turn towards agoraphobia made me realize that I need to work on some things before I end up weighing 600 pounds, surrounded by cats and can't make it through my hoard to the door to let the Hoarders producers in.  I'm not kidding... I'm an overweight cat lady with hoarding tendencies and I cannot afford for my general dislike of the public at large to turn into full-blown agoraphobia. 

So... it's a positive.  And don't show up at my house with A&E or I'll kick you in the crotch I swear.  My house is just cluttered, I don't need a professional intervention yet. 

+  I spent time with my Mom this weekend and my nephew on Saturday who called me and invited me over to watch "Cool Runnings" with him because... well, "Cool Runnings".

+  I'm only working a half day this Friday (whoo-hoo!) and I got extra hours this week so I don't lose any pay.  Whoop!

+  Sunday Night my mom made some amazing Butternut Squash soup.  It was awesome and low calorie.  

+  I've been under my calories a lot this week. Not every day, but I'm doing better.  Which is awesome. 

Overall, it's been a pretty positive week.  What about you?

1 comment:

  1. I love the relationship you have with your brother. There's so much love and respect there and I can feel that in your writing. It sounds like a great weekend spending time with family. Kudos to your nephew on his choice of movie. Cool Runnings was filmed in Canada at Olympic Park. And the late,great, John Candy was my comic hero. Great blog Ash 😊