Wednesday, April 30, 2014

What If Wednesday: What if I could do it again?

Today's Topic: What If...I could do it again?

Only 5-10 minutes of writing....GO!


So many thoughts.  I've asked myself this a lot lately.

I always find that I have a better come back, a better solution, a better answer, a better ways of coping, handling, or dealing with something after the fact. 

The truth is...I'm very rarely someone who handles anything the "right way" on my first reaction.  I need time to process.  Work it out in my own head.  Make peace with whatever inner conflicts I have before responding to anything, decide what I think or how I really feel, decide on the right words to use because I'm notorious for saying something stupid.  

Very few people understand that about me...that I'm so much better when I can process. 

Even Bonehead...who honestly knows me better than anyone still forgets that you can't put me on the spot, especially if I'm exhausted, overwhelmed, or stressed.  

But, would I do it all over again if I could? 

I might have ended my last relationship sooner.

I might have saved more money instead of spending it on stupid things in my earlier 20's. 

I might have gone to this or that event. 

I might not have let that person in my life. 

I might not have believe that other person was truly my friend. 

I might have waited. 

I might have done that sooner. 

I like to think that I'm happy I made the decisions I did because doing it that way made me the person I am.  But damn if I don't sometimes say to myself, "I should have said/done THIS instead of what I did!"