Sunday, September 28, 2014

Sunday Confessions: Reach

This week's prompt:

For some reason, this song is stuck in my head... particularly the line "A thousand other boys could never reach you/how could I have been the one?" 

I'd like to ignore the fact that this song is about a woman addicted to heroin and just focus on that feeling when you think, maybe, someone finally reached you.  

Being a person with high emotional walls is in many ways like living alone and never having people over.  No one cares about the mess because no one but you sees it.  Everything is the way you want it, with no one else's stuff and you don't have to care about what anyone else thinks about what is inside.  No one can see the insane things you do behind closed doors like housecleaning in your flannel jammies while singing along to every single word of a Lil Wayne song, or knows that you drop it low, do it with no hands, and dougie as often as you can.  

When you've "lived alone" or in this case with walls so high even the dragons have trouble getting in, having someone say or do something that reveals just how deep their understanding of you goes is like... well, being shot out of a cannon into a billboard that says, "I see you and I know you".  

Realizing that maybe you've reached someone, or that someone just might have reached you, is scary as fucking hell.  It is amazing and mind-blowing and awe-inspiring, utterly terrifying and rewarding to see a bond you've occasionally despised but ultimately loved and nurtured has grown beyond the reach you ever thought it would.