Friday, August 7, 2015

My Huge Announcement

 Are you ready for my big announcement?  It's huge.  You're going to be so surprised and excited.... I just know it. 

MORE THAN CHEESE AND BEER: THE BOOK is coming to a bookstore near you next year. 

That's right.  I have a publisher.  I expect you all to go out and buy yourself a copy using my Amazon Associates code, or steal someone else's off the back of their toilet!

You know I'm joking, right?  Were you excited when you thought I wasn't kidding and this was going to be a real thing you could read the next time you're hiding from your kids in the bathroom under the guise of "taking a poop"?  Did you want to come meet me in a bookstore somewhere so I could sign your copy and you could walk away wondering if you smelled vodka?  Better yet, did you want to be the awesome person who came to meet me in a bookstore and BRING me vodka?

As much as I had aspirations of writing a book when I was younger, as an adult it just doesn't seem like something I can do.  I say this because I do, in fact, read my own blog.  

I am not everyone's cup of tea, and that is fine because I'd rather be their shot of whiskey.  But who ever started doing shots of whiskey with an end goal in mind?  If I were to write a book, I'm not sure what I would write it about.  I once had aspirations of going on the road with my own one-woman show; it was going to be called, "Shit my exes texted me: dramatic messages from the morons who've shaped my bitterness". Could I turn that into something people would actually want to read?

My life experiences aren't without value.  I make people laugh.  I've learned some lessons along the way that might impart some wisdom to someone somewhere along the way.  I know that what I share of myself has inspired people before.  Is that enough reason to write a book?  Somehow, I have this idea in my head that if I want to write about something I should know how it shapes me in an admirable way before sharing it.  For example, my trials in the dating world... I think I need to stop failing first so that I can see how those experiences truly shape me as someone another person wants to actually be with.  Is there any value to reading a book about dating from someone who is still single?  All of these other experiences I've had, I can't help but feel as though I am wholly incomplete and that writing a book in the middle of my story is like making a movie about the making of a movie you don't even have the screenplay for.  

All of the things I am doing and experiencing, they shape who I am right now but have I reached a point where I feel accomplished enough or shaped enough as a person to write a book about it?  I don't think so.   

So my big announcement?  I'm not writing a book this year.

I could always write fiction.  What small, short fiction I've read has been met with rave reviews.  It is the one place I feel comfortable exposing what a dark little weirdo I am, and that seems to be working out for Stephen King.  Maybe there is a future book in store after all....

This a Secret Subject Swap post!  This week 16 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.  

 My subject was “You are writing a book.  Is it fact or fiction? What is the title and what is it about?”.  It was submitted by  Here goes: 

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:                          Baking In A Tornado                                          The Momisodes                    The Bergham’s Life Chronicles                 Stacy Sews and Schools                            Dinosaur Superhero Mommy                  Spatulas on Parade                        Southern Belle Charm                               Never Ever Give Up Hope                                 Sparkly Poetic Weirdo                    Silence of the Mom                      Someone Else’s Genius              Confessions of a part-time working mom                The Angrivated Mom           More Than Cheese and Beer                     Searching for Sanity                           Climaxed